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Cowboys` Locker Page 2              (Also see Cowboys` Locker Page 1 )

Answer to The Conway Conundrum (from article on Cowboys` Locker page 1)

Well, apart from being a cheap Contract on a steel pole, it`s a C/D group aerial on a B

group transmitter ! It`d probably work OK in a strong signal area, but I`m unconvinced that pointing through Edward The First`s town walls would be conducive to the latter. I can`t help thinking that the C/D group aerial was meant for Winter Hill but was put up by someone

who didn`t really know what they were doing. Winter Hill is used by a fair number of people on the North coast of Wales, but aerials on it from Conway would be facing ENE (towards Llandudno Junction) and be polarised Horizontally !

Forget Tony Blair or Bill Clinton, when we`re talking “The Third Way” we`re talking how

to route your aerial downlead.....

First, there was taping the cable

        to the side of the pole.

Then, there was running the cable

        down the inside of the pole.

But now, there`s routing the cable

        no where near the bleedin` pole !

Seriously though, we recommend taping the cable to the side of the pole, for the reasons see the article on this subject.

One thing the installer has done right is to install the 10ft pole on two 6” wall brackets (rather than T & Ks) because there is no need for more than about three inches of “stand off”.

That said he`s used the cheapest nastiest pressed brackets, and why has he used an amplified 18 element Log Periodic (on the Emley Moor transmitter) when a Log40 or a Yagi18B would have been more appropriate ?

This is Anthony, Anthony the anxious antenna.

His mates know him as Tony, Tony the timid TV aerial. He`s a bit shy and retiring,

thus explaining why he`s just peeping round the corner.

Anthony has a crush on Emily (as in Emily Moor) but can only worship her from afar, because he becomes rather bashful in her presence. It`s all very sad......

Things are even worse for Anthony`s mate Derek, Derek the defensive dipole.

Derek`s diffident you see, but he fancies Emily just as much as Anthony, if not more.

It`s just as important for him to get a good view of Emily, but he`s half hidden from her.

It can`t possibly work out, it really can`t, not unless Emily was up really really close......

Maybe Bertie (as in Bertie the bleedin` bodger) should`ve enlisted the help of Walter

(that`s Walter the worthwhile wall) and mounted the bracket there. That way both Anthony and Derek would get a clear view of Emily, and everyone could`ve lived happily ever after.

But obviously Bertie couldn`t be arsed......

(with apologies to Thomas the tank engine, the best kid`s TV series ever, until they bloody ruin it by using Computer Generated Images rather than those wonderful models........)  

This install is actually even more of a bodge than it looks. I think that “wall bracket” is actually a chimney bracket ! It`s the cheapest flimsiest type available, i.e a pressed bracket. In fact it is so insubstantial that Bertie was able to bend it flat enough to use in this

rather “creative” manner.

The whole thing is so s**t that Albert`s use

of a 1” alloy pole is almost an irrelevance.....

OK I admit these installs aren`t that bad but it just amuses me that some installers can`t use a hacksaw and some seem to use one when they don`t even need to !

At least the installer doesn`t suffer from Hacksawitus....

Both of these brackets are in fact mitre chimney types but the installer has just chopped off part of them and used them as wall brackets instead !

We`ll not mention the use of ungalvanised rust prone bracketry (doesn`t it look awful....) or the fact that install on the right is mounted on the fascia.....